Friday, November 30, 2007
Day at the Doctor's office......ouch!
Yesterday I had my second visit in two weeks to the R.A. Specialist.
He had told me last time that I needed to read all the pamphlets he gave to me and basically "pick my poison".....
well he didn't say that....
he said...."pick a treatment." But I know what is in the "treatment" soooooo.......I prayed about it and talked with my husband and we weighed all the options.
I picked the Methatextrate injections. Which is a Chemotherapy drug. I had been on it before but in pill form and suffered severe digestive problems so...I stopped it.
Anyway, long story longer, I chose doing injections of it this time so it would be bypassing the stomach plus your body absorbs more of the drug this way and I need it to work FAST!!
Pray with me that it does. I need some relief now.
They say it takes 2-3 weeks to kick in but I know God can do it NOW.
So I had to GIVE MYSELF AN INJECTION in my fat stomach. Ugh. It was easier to pinch a bunch of that. HA!
I didn't think I could do it. I mean I stuck the needle in....and stopped and asked the nurse...."how much further do I have to go?????"
It was freaking me out. But I crammed it in deeper. Yuck. It's so gross.
I know some people have to do this every day just to live so I had to "get a grip" and just do it.
Besides the needle was part way in and I needed to be DONE with it.
I can still see myself looking in the mirror and shoving that needle in my gut. Blah! I hated it.
I've already decided....."yeah I'm going BACK next week to have her help me with the next injection." I'm not ready to do this on my own yet.
But at some point I will have to.
I will be doing this on a weekly basis now.
Trying to find some pain relief and stop this progression. Next they will start me on a stronger "biological" drug. They are SUPER, SUPER, expensive so I'm not sure how this will work yet. The Dr. mentioned entering me into a "Clinical Study" which would pay for the treatment. But then I would be a hamster wouldn't I??
We will talk about that later.......it's another injection though. Blah!
But smaller needle. Like a pen injector.
I don't like to talk about this much. I don't want to "glorify" the situation or the disease.
Yet, I do on occasion just because it's part of "my" story.
Plus if it "helps" someone or if you know someone that has this same issue or think you could have it. Possibly some of this will help you.
Because I myself had little to NO understanding or compassion about this disease.......even though my sister Jerri has had it since a juvenile, and my
Mother in Law, Ruth, had it. And she had it BAD.
I say HAD because she died last year. Not only from the disease but then again "yes" because of the disease as well as loneliness.....my Father in Law had just passed away 15 months earlier.
We had gone home to see her that Christmas and right when we were leaving to come back to LA. she started to get a cold.
By the time we made it back to LA. she was in the hospital with Pneumonia. While at the hospital she contracted a million other germs.....including, Staph and Strep infections, E-Coli, Herpes, and several odd rashes, including one that was in the forms of sores in her mouth.
It was horrible.
She finally gave up about 2 months later after battling strong in the hospital for all that time. It was sad.
The thing is....Rheumatoid Arthritis affects your immune system. Messes it up.
When you take some of these meds....they "disarm" your immune system (so it will STOP attacking your body) so you are very susceptible to infections, etc.
I told the Dr. yesterday that I "thought I might be getting a sinus infection" to which he told me....."infections are potentially DANGEROUS" to you."
Right. Good to know. Especially since I am about to inject myself with something to take my immune system down. UGH!
Then do I just live in a "bubble like The Bubble boy?"......
No, I don't think so.
I press onward and trust God. I do what I can when I feel like I can physically.
Right now I can't do so much but it's okay. It will get better.
Just please don't blow your nose my direction okay? :~)